You know, you learn from your mistakes. I played the original Yo Ghost
demo a couple months ago, and I didn't much care for it. It was the
typical thrown together thing with bad graphics, a nonsense story,
dialog that is just beyond stupid, like "You will join us, now DIE!"
Okay, so you kill all your new recruits? How do you have an army in the
first place, then?
Anyway, this is an update, so I'll give a brief retrospective on the first, and then review the changes made to the game.
In the original, you walk through a forest fighting random enemies,
fight a boss, meet an ally, and kill five hundred scrambling NPCs by
killing only one of them (the creator obviously made one NPC and placed
them a hundred times).
The game reeked of no-playtesting. Now here's what's insulting about
that: If YOU'RE not going to play the game, why are you asking ME to?
YOU know it sucks, why not just tell me it sucks and not upload it?
But the update really blew me away.
Never have I seen such a quality change from the original demo to the
update. Where the first demo was forgettable garbage, the update is
Look at that screenshot, that's how all the text looks. It's not just
unreadable, it's fucking beautifully unreadable. In a way, I'm glad
that there's a game that looks like this. A game so terrible, I'm
betting its creator doesn't even have a copy of GAME.EXE anywhere on
his computer, because he doesn't want to be tempted to accidentally
play it. It's like the Monty Python sketch about that joke that's so
funny, if you hear it, you die of laughter. If you had that joke
written down somewhere, you'd lock it in a safe and throw away the key
to make sure you never accidentally read it. Likewise, I imagine the
maker of Yo Ghost deleted GAME.EXE to make sure he'd never have to look
at what he's done and accept responsibility for it.
One of the welcome changes to the game is the fact that none of the
battle-triggering text boxes trigger battles anymore. If there's
anything I don't need, it's more unimaginative RPG battles in my life.
It makes the dialog kind of hilarious, even. A badguy threatens to kill
you, (I think) then disappears into thin air. The game also crashes
when you talk to the last boss, which is nice, because it is literally
your computer FORCING YOU TO STOP PLAYING THE GAME. Thank you, computer.
...You know what? I know this isn't much of an ending, but we've had
our laughs and I don't think we'll extract too many more out of this...
thing (it's not really a game). I don't really want dedicate anymore
words to Yo Ghost
than I already have, so let's forget about this game forever, and end this review with the following period --->.