A Review by Gilbert
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You know, you learn from your mistakes. I played the original Yo Ghost
demo a couple months ago, and I didn't much care for it. It was the
typical thrown together thing with bad graphics, a nonsense story,
dialog that is just beyond stupid, like "You will join us, now DIE!"
Okay, so you kill all your new recruits? How do you have an army in the
first place, then?
Anyway, this is an update, so I'll give a brief retrospective on the first, and then review the changes made to the game.
In the original, you walk through a forest fighting random enemies, fight a boss, meet an ally, and kill five hundred scrambling NPCs by killing only one of them (the creator obviously made one NPC and placed them a hundred times).
The game reeked of no-playtesting. Now here's what's insulting about that: If YOU'RE not going to play the game, why are you asking ME to? YOU know it sucks, why not just tell me it sucks and not upload it?
But the update really blew me away.
Never have I seen such a quality change from the original demo to the update. Where the first demo was forgettable garbage, the update is SPECTACULAR GARBAGE.
Look at that screenshot, that's how all the text looks. It's not just unreadable, it's fucking beautifully unreadable. In a way, I'm glad that there's a game that looks like this. A game so terrible, I'm betting its creator doesn't even have a copy of GAME.EXE anywhere on his computer, because he doesn't want to be tempted to accidentally play it. It's like the Monty Python sketch about that joke that's so funny, if you hear it, you die of laughter. If you had that joke written down somewhere, you'd lock it in a safe and throw away the key to make sure you never accidentally read it. Likewise, I imagine the maker of Yo Ghost deleted GAME.EXE to make sure he'd never have to look at what he's done and accept responsibility for it.
One of the welcome changes to the game is the fact that none of the battle-triggering text boxes trigger battles anymore. If there's anything I don't need, it's more unimaginative RPG battles in my life. It makes the dialog kind of hilarious, even. A badguy threatens to kill you, (I think) then disappears into thin air. The game also crashes when you talk to the last boss, which is nice, because it is literally your computer FORCING YOU TO STOP PLAYING THE GAME. Thank you, computer.
...You know what? I know this isn't much of an ending, but we've had our laughs and I don't think we'll extract too many more out of this... thing (it's not really a game). I don't really want dedicate anymore words to Yo Ghost than I already have, so let's forget about this game forever, and end this review with the following period --->.
Anyway, this is an update, so I'll give a brief retrospective on the first, and then review the changes made to the game.
In the original, you walk through a forest fighting random enemies, fight a boss, meet an ally, and kill five hundred scrambling NPCs by killing only one of them (the creator obviously made one NPC and placed them a hundred times).
The game reeked of no-playtesting. Now here's what's insulting about that: If YOU'RE not going to play the game, why are you asking ME to? YOU know it sucks, why not just tell me it sucks and not upload it?
But the update really blew me away.
Never have I seen such a quality change from the original demo to the update. Where the first demo was forgettable garbage, the update is SPECTACULAR GARBAGE.
Look at that screenshot, that's how all the text looks. It's not just unreadable, it's fucking beautifully unreadable. In a way, I'm glad that there's a game that looks like this. A game so terrible, I'm betting its creator doesn't even have a copy of GAME.EXE anywhere on his computer, because he doesn't want to be tempted to accidentally play it. It's like the Monty Python sketch about that joke that's so funny, if you hear it, you die of laughter. If you had that joke written down somewhere, you'd lock it in a safe and throw away the key to make sure you never accidentally read it. Likewise, I imagine the maker of Yo Ghost deleted GAME.EXE to make sure he'd never have to look at what he's done and accept responsibility for it.
One of the welcome changes to the game is the fact that none of the battle-triggering text boxes trigger battles anymore. If there's anything I don't need, it's more unimaginative RPG battles in my life. It makes the dialog kind of hilarious, even. A badguy threatens to kill you, (I think) then disappears into thin air. The game also crashes when you talk to the last boss, which is nice, because it is literally your computer FORCING YOU TO STOP PLAYING THE GAME. Thank you, computer.
...You know what? I know this isn't much of an ending, but we've had our laughs and I don't think we'll extract too many more out of this... thing (it's not really a game). I don't really want dedicate anymore words to Yo Ghost than I already have, so let's forget about this game forever, and end this review with the following period --->.