A Feature by Paul Harrington
One day Bob Surlaw was taking a bath in
some eggwhite. He had a strange dream. What would happen if some of his
buddies had children with some of his other buddies? What would they
look like? What could these dreams MEAN?
"I wonder what it would look like if me
and Super Walrus Man had a child together. Would it be as round as I?
Would it still have a beard? And on top of that, what if I betrayed him
and had a second child, this one with Gulob? Would he have a mouth?"
"The OHR holds many strange creatures. If
I died or married Senor Death, what would that be like? If Bob the
Hamster was ACTUALLY part Duck, and went out on the town wearing a Mr.
Triangle costume, would anyone know it was him?"
"Scottie is a weird guy who doesn't play
well with others, but he likes swords. That Kyle guy is a good
swordsman. What would happen if they were combined in a transporter
accident? I bet he'd STILL have worse fashion than me!"
"My two favorite superhero teams are Dinosaur Triple and the Village People. Imagine if you COMBINED them? Through years of genetic manipulation and legally complicated matrimony this might happen!"
"Now one day Slime King sneezed REALLY BAD
and it hit Bob the Hamster and he had a baby and it looked like this.
He needs corrective lenses."
"Samuel Kikraizer is actually the cousin
of Samuel Ranchman so they can't have a child, but they can borrow each
other's clothes and noses and also what if Tim-Tim was half sheep??"
"I like Powerstick Man but he's not very
proactive. I like Dogero but he's too jaded. But... what if they liked
EACH OTHER? In a few generations you can bet a nickle that they'd have
the coolest kid on the block!"
"I hear a lot about this Cthulhu guy and
Dr. Mu likes supernatural stuff, so if they dated I bet he'd find a way
to fuse their DNA."
"Fat Frog is a Prophet from deep space,
and Woo is half Q, and they actually ARE dating, and this is what their
future child looks like, he was stolen as an infant and sent to Earth
in the year 3000 and given a body."
"What a strange dream! Where would we be without dreams? What is your dream?"