Reviews by Paul Harrington
Some games came out last month and they're RIDICULOUS! Who could have ever imagined games like this could be released? No one, no one could imagine it. How disappointing. I'm thoroughly, completely disappointed in a bland, dispassionate way.
RIDICULOUSly good scripting! But looks aren't everything! The game is a
Hollywood remake of Nathan Karr's magnum opus Weegee, but without
the heart that made that game a classic. The OHR Heart. A point is
automatically deducted from this game for its title, which should have
been Star Quest II: The Wrath of Gahn. A missed opportunity that leaves
the audience scared and angry. I assume all of this game's budget was
spent on marketing due to its use of stock footage. The game certainly
would have been better if it had had at least another $500,000 to work
with. I couldn't pay attention to the game's dialogue because I simply
can't relate to something set in an environment as alien as an office,
and also horses don't have wings! I assume the flying horse scene was a
production error because how else can you explain that? Horses don't
fly. Also what is a Charbile??
RIDICULOUSly boring! A true call back to
the glory days of Terrible Games Contests. It looks bad and plays
worse. It's perfect! I don't know if the game has an ending because I
threw up everywhere when I played it. I thought trolls had more hair
than this? Is the hero a barber and his customers are angry because he
took too much off the top? IS THAT the game?
RIDICULOUSly competent! I didn't feel any fear or loathing in this game
but I did die a lot. Sadly I learned nothing!! I like that your guy
farts when he jumps, that is a good feature and it explains why it's so
dangerous for him to be around open flames and also sand. This game is
a commentary on the inevitability of death, the sands are the sands of
time, in an hour glass, and you can look back on your memories but you
CAN'T change the past.
RIDICULOUSly good title screen! You gain
two points for having Geordi LaForge in the game but LOSE one for not
letting me play as him. The writing is super stupid! Really stupid. I
got bored of the writing but I liked all the pretty flashing lights and
the maptiles are superb. You should copy Trolls! battle system and the
game will be a better game but then it wouldn't be a game at all, it
would be an examination. You gain one point for making a Mega Man RPG
about an alien invasion but lose TWO by making the aliens human instead
of Klingons, Romulans, Hortas, and Remans. What were you thinking?
RIDICULOUSly menu driven! This game is the
true sequel to Pepsi Ranger's 80's simulator Entrepreneur. If anything
I would say it is the Pokemon Yellow to Pepsi Ranger's Pokemon Red. I
couldn't figure out how to get a Psyduck and I didn't have anyone to
trade with but I like the music! If ever you wanted to be the best 80's
Guy possible you should play this but you should also play Entrepreneur
but I think Harem Builder has the edge because you can't charm your way
past fire hydrants in Entrepreneur, you need to serve them coffee.
RIDICULOUSly post modern! I like how much
I hated the RPG part but liked the end part with all the words, this
game proves decisively that visual mediums are boring. They are boring,
and video games are boring, but reading, that is still fun. I had fun.
I want to be a rock person too but maybe not because they all died I
guess. This is the OHR's Nier, only political.
RIDICULOUSly good intro! It is probably the best intro I have seen, I suppose the honest truth is this is a game I can relate to, because I know what it's like to be a car. There's a lot of social commentary in this one too! The commentary is that society is bad. If you can win the game, you rock! It's what experts call "Nintendo Hard" and there are lots of dogs and birds in it so it's a lot like Ninja Gaiden to be honest.
You won the contest, Spoonweaver! You made the game I liked the most. To me, you've won. Clam Digger wins the 2012 Ridiculous Games Contest.